dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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