NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
