I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
