Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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