What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
