Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
