i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Who died my cat blue again?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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