You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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