I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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