dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
