if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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