So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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