Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
