it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
