I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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