So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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