Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
