Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
