Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??