He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.