drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.