I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level