Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
