pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
