I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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