Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
