I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
