i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
