just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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