I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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