do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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