So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
