you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize