im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize