Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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