What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
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He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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