they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
