will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
