I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
