She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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