It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
