Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
