you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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