Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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