covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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