So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
