wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I had to cum in my sink.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
