Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
