I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
