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so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
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