You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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