I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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