I just cut my nipple shaving
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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