Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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