im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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