you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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