yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
