You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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