Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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